Separatist Violence

As you may know, India is an incomprehensibly diverse country with scores of different languages, ethnicities, castes, religious affiliations, shared histories, etc. Surprisingly, despite this, the country hangs together in a more or less democratic fashion.

However, the differences take violent shape from time to time. Andhra Pradesh (the state my family is from) is undergoing tumult right now because part of the state called Telangana (the white districts on map) want to be a separate, 29th state of the Republic of India.

In other countries, this often lead to some political grandstanding, a referendum or two, and finally some sort of minor appeasement. In AP, this time, however, it has become an all-out war of sorts. By the way, people of Telangana speak the same language as the rest of the state and are not significantly different in terms of religious, caste background.

An NYT article today describes people that have immolated themselves for the Telangana state cause (below pic shows family of one such "hero").* How can someone be so passionate about a cause that has almost no impact on their daily life?

Ultimately, this is about money--who gets Hyderabad. Hyderabad is one of the richest cities in the country (home to Microsoft India, Satyam Systems, Reddy Labs etc.). The politicians from Telangana feel like they haven't gotten to eat as much of the Hyderabad development bribes as those from the rest of the state.

Meanwhile, everyone has to suffer, like those manipulated into suicide/homicide and the rest of us that have to live in or travel to Hyderabad/AP. I was planning on going to Hyderabad this Easter weekend for a family reunion but it is highly likely that there will be a city wide curfew the entire weekend which means we will have trouble going anywhere in town.

* Full disclosure, even though my family has settled in Hyderabad many years ago. We're not from Telangana.

Meals on Wheels or Why Mumbai = Ultimate Couth Potato Land

Mumbai is famous for its free delivery system. You can get anything delivered -- groceries, household goods, clothes, anything. However, until recently, you couldn't get the most commonly home delivered item in the rest of the world--restaurant food--from most establishments, especially the nice ones.

Enter Indian Entrepreneur,* Sunil Saraf recently started Meals on Wheels (I know, unfortunate name), a service that delivers food from almost any prominent restaurant in South Mumbai to your home. And the best part, it's free! Now, I can have my Royal China Fried Rice or Trishna Tandoori Lobster delivered home anytime.

The revenue model is a 20% commission on the order amount from the restaurant (why this is more economical for the restaurants, I don't understand). From the sound of it, business is good. They have five lines and all were busy on Sunday for 15 minutes (hopefully, they'll add more lines soon). The easy to use website, already online but only functional starting April 1st, might be the better bet going forward.


* Full disclosure, I don't know Sunil at all, but would love to meet him and may be even invest in this venture!

Professional Sports in India: Part II (2 Hot 2 Handle)

Here comes the much awaited update on what actually happened at the IPL Cricket Match (I blame the delay on our cameraman losing his camera with all the pics).

Somethings I should have been told before I signed up for this experience:

The Good:

• Random, scantily-clad, white cheerleaders on platforms (Where did find these white women? Do they even know what's going on?)

• Pep/Marching Band with Indian instruments!
  

The Bad:

• Most seats (including the relatively nice, field-side ones we had) are NOT air-conditioned. Seriously, you can't even fathom how hot a place that crowded gets with the bright lights coupled with the 100 degree weather.
  
• Below pic doesn't do the situation justice, but depending on the day, it is incredibly loud in the stadium (horns, whistles, shouting etc.)

The Ugly:

• The entire stadium is dry and they won't let you re-enter the stadium if you leave for some "reinforcements.". WTF kind of sporting event is this?

Given all of this and the fact that the Mumbai Indians were losing miserably at the half, I went against my natural instincts (I always foolishly watch a Packer game until the end hoping for a come back) and left the game at half-time.

We watched the rest of the game from a nice, air-conditioned bar near-by and were saddened/vindicated when the Mumbai Indians lost terribly as expected.

Registering at FRRO (Sri vs Indian Bureacracy, Round 2)

Registering yourself a foreign resident in India (why this is required I don't even understand) is a farcical exercise worthy of Jonathan Swift novel.

The experience has led to me to conclude that the sole purpose of Indian bureaucracy is to maximize frustration of anyone that comes in contact with it. They have a time-tested recipe for accomplishing this:

Step 1: Obfuscation
Registering yourself as a foreign resident requires an extra-ordinary number of documents (1 original and 3 copies of each). Some are straight forward--passport, visa--others are not, your boss's passport copy, the original of your employment contract, your electricity bill etc.

The required, supplemental online form gave me hope that perhaps the office may be somewhat efficient. No, once I got to the office, they made me fill out the exact same form again and print it out (despite already doing it at home).

Step 2: Physical Exhaustion
No one knows where the FRRO office is in Mumbai (including my cabbie who didn't understand even after being told by the FRRO receptionist). Eventually, I found the Special Branch of the CID office (apparently the real name of the FRRO) after roaming aimlessly in South Mumbai in 100 degree weather for 30min.

Once you get there, you have to climb up to the 4th floor (broken elevator) then wait in an overcrowded room without air conditioning for hours. I suppose, this is at least better than the fate of the Pakistani and Bangladeshi Nationals who have to wait outside (See below):

Step 3: Mental Exhaustion
Then you wait, wait, wait, and wait. Then they call you in, then ask you wait again. This process keeps repeating. Each time, there's no transparency on (a) why you're being called in, (b) how many more times you will be called in, (c) why it is taking so long, (d) how long it will take, nor (e) why they can't do all the first time they call you.

During the process, I messaged friend of mine well-versed in the troubles of FRRO, "will I get this done today?" He replies, "Call me from the FRRO tomorrow, we'll catch-up."

Guess what? Even if I had to for 5 hrs in that balmy 90 degree room, I got it done today! This round, Sri 1: Indian Bureacracy 1.

Walking in Mumbai

My favorite memories of London, Paris, New York, and Berlin are from walking. I think walking around town is a quintessential part of a metropolitan experience (and why LA will never be real city). Perhaps, this is why Bombay is often referred to as a "failed metropolis" by the literary types: you can't walk in South Bombay (take a look below)*

1) There are no sidewalks; the few that exist are under construction or falling apart

2) Air Pollution is so extreme that walking in Bombay is "injurious to your health" (typical warning on cigarette packs here)

3) The traffic is so overflowing (human, animal and 2/3/4-wheeled vehicle) that you feel like you are constantly in danger of being hit

4) Most annoying of all is that if you're walking, you never know what you'll step in. In New York, the dangers are occasional chewing gum or undisposed dog waste. In Bombay, land of true choice, you get your pick of at least 3 kinds of shit (dog, cow, and horse) and an infinite number of sticky filthy things a person could dream of.

I heard Bandra (remember, the Williamsburg of South Mumbai's Manhattan) has some nice sidewalks. I need to go there during the day one of these days.


* To you nay-sayers, Marine Drive doesn't count. It's not like walking in the city. It's more like walking on the side-walk on the West Side Hwy in NYC.

Home Dream Home

Might be news to some of you non-Mumbaiker friends, but the world's most expensive home is being built in Mumbai.* Mukesh Ambani, the 4th richest man in the world, is building a "single-family home" of 27 stories for ~$2 Billion (yes, USD). For some context, the world's most expensive home in 2004 was Laxmi Mittal's in London Kensington Garden for about $125 Million. Below is the schematic of the home (click for high res):

Some interesting facts about the residents and amenities of the house (beyond those on the annotated pic):

• 6 residents (Ambani, his wife, mother and 3 children) and 600 servants
• More living square-footage (~40,000) than the Palace of Versailles
• 6 floors of parking for ~170 cars
• Extra tall ceilings (27 fl building would be 60 fl at normal ceilings)
• 9 elevators (need them access 3 floors of terrace gardens, 2 floors of gym facilities, etc)
  

As expected, in lovely Bombay, the world's most expensive and least expensive homes less than a mile apart. What do you guys think? Is Ambani underpaying?


* Full disclosure, this house is on my block and I can see it from my window. I'm glad it's almost done; less construction traffic on the street.

Mumbai Under Construction

In Wisconsin, we had a saying, "there's only two seasons in these parts, winter and road construction." Mumbai has the luxury of having only one season, but alas, this season also happens to be construction season. Perennial construction in Bombay is driven by 3 reasons:

1) Growth of India: 2nd largest country in the world (1.2B people) with the 2nd fastest growing economy (doubling every 9 years) and a rapidly growing means immense appetite for new construction for businesses as well as the rising middle class.

2) Weather of Mumbai: 10 months of weather above 80 degrees means no need for workers to take a break. 12 months of humidity and 2 months of monsoons means buildings become decrepit in less than year, so they have to start renovations before they're even done with the construction. I am serious.

3) The Government: Indian govt is notoriously slow and inefficient (another old adage, "China succeeds because of its government; India succeeds despite its government"). Infrastructure projects always take much longer and cost more than expected.

For example, Mumbai's newest crown jewel, the "Sea Link" that connects the suburbs in a short-cut over sea to South Mumbai was supposed to cost $60M and be completed in 5-years by 2004. It ended up costing $320M and half of it finally opened at the end of 2009. It is a beautiful bridge though (this pic is not necessarily doing it justice):

Professional Sports in India: Part I

Indian sports are professionalizing, it's about time! Of course, the first sport to go pro is Cricket. The Indian Premier League (IPL) was started last year in the abbreviated Twenty20 format of Cricket that makes matches ~3hrs long (instead of the old one-day matches, or worse yet the 3 to 5 day test matches). The league is so pro that they allow international players and 2 teams in the league even went for >$110M USD a couple of years ago--of course this is still tiny compared to US teams, but it's a start.

Below are the 8 teams in the league:

Since it's a new league, I get to decide what my team is. I'm terribly torn: my family is from Hyderabad, so the Deccan Chargers? I live in Bombay, so the Mumbai Indians (the Yankees of IPL)? Can I just pick a team based on whose name I like best? I'm a huge fan of Chennai Super Kings' name (I'm convinced they only chose the name b/c the Punjab team already picked 'Kings' and they wanted to one-up the Punjabis).

I'm going to my first IPL match on Saturday, watching the Mumbai Indians play the Bangalore Royal Challengers (btw, these are the 2 most expensive teams mentioned earlier--Yanks v Sox Indian style!). We're pre-gaming the match. I love that Indians pick-up American cultural habits so quickly. Woot-woot for tailgating a cricket match, now that's classy!

Bombay vs Bangkok -- The Showdown

Here comes the long overdue post on my x-mas trip to Bangkok! For funsies, we're going to do it in a VH1 celebrity show down format.

Round 1: The streets
Bangkok--sidewalks and no filth on the streets. Enough said, Bangkok FTW, easily.

Round 2: The food
While Bombay does have great Indian food, I have to give this one to Bangkok due to the edible, healthly, and delicious street food. Of course, there were also carts selling below items:

Round 3: The traffic
Never thought I'd see the day when I would miss Bombay traffic. On my way to airport in Bangkok, a traffic light was broken. We sat there for >20 minutes; god I miss entrepreneurial Bombay drivers for whom traffic rules are suggestions, who would have broken that red and gotten me to the airport in time. I eventually had to jump out of my cab, get onto some dude's sketchy motorbike with my luggage who dropped me off next to a highway from where I found another cab to the airport. Fun! So I'll begrudgingly give Bombay the win.

Round 4: The taxis (wouldn't be a Repat journey urban competition without this round)
Bombay taxis despite their extreme discomfort still win this round by the sheer fact that I am actually able to communicate with the drivers and they don't try to rip me off on a constant and ludicrous basis. One saving grace of Bangkok cabs is their fun colors. Below is a pic of the super-manly one I took from the airport.

Round 5: The STDs in the air
Bombay wins this one hands-down. Bang-kok was the underdog here to begin with, but they made a valiant effort with this PSA pic on how not to get HIV.

Bombay wins this time around (3 -2), but before you cry foul play in competition design, Bangkok is not a town to go down so easily (or is it?). We'll have to have a rematch--someone in Mumbai better engaged soon so we can have a bachelor party in Bangkok!

Also, click here for more pics on FB from the trip (alas, the most scandalous are not on there and you have to be a friend to see).

Btw, leave comments, if you do, I'll do similar updates on Bombay vs Singapore (already 2 weeks overdue) and Bombay vs Cairo etc.

Living Large in Mumbai: Part II (Trying Not II Live Large)

Eating healthy might be a challenge for a large proportion of people in India (for a variety of aforementioned reasons), but never thought it would be for me. Below is a picture of India with the various specialties of the different regions that you must try, one thing in common is that most of them are very unhealthy--greasy, breaded, sugary, and/or just fried goodness (click on image for yummy details)

Based on above, as you might guess, the key issue with eating healthy here is that most food is indulgent. If you eat out, Indian food tends to be laden with oil/butter; western food is no better--iceberg lettuce (why any one serves this flavorless, nutritionless leaf anywhere is beyond me) covered with ranch dressing is considered healthy.

The two ways to eat healthy are (1) eating food you cook for yourself at home or (2) going to very expensive restaurants and being very specific with your instructions (e.g. no sauce, dressing on the side, less oil, etc.). Guess which one I opt for?

Psych, gotcha, I chose secret option (3): having my maid cook for me at home.

Living Large in Mumbai: Part I

Despite the fact that India is a vegetarian's paradise-->30% of the country is vegetarian--and a locavore's dream-- >90% of even consumed meat is sourced locally, India has serious issues with healthy eating (and I'm not just talking about Delhi Belly here!).

43% of Indian children under 5 are malnourished (compare to ~35% in Sub-Saharan Africa) but at the same time 19% of the population is overweight (this stat, I bet, would be MUCH higher for Mumbai).

In fact, I've seen more plus-size clothing purveyors in South Mumbai than in Wisconsin--that's saying something! Below is an ad from a famous plus-size line chain, ALL-- "A Little Larger":

Granted some of this genetic, but a lot of it also has to do with diet and behavior: high white rice/carb consumption among poor and simple overconsumption among the wealthy.

Losing status

I suppose it was inevitable. I haven't been traveling as much and am now living in India. This is the first real indication that I'm not longer in America: American downgraded me from Platinum to Gold. RIP free upgrades.

Yes, my life used to be like Clooney's character's in 'Up in the Air.' Except any real consultant knows that Starwood is where it's at, not Hilton.

Mumbai Geography

It's hard find an analogous American city to Mumbai, the best way to describe the city's geography is as a hybrid of New York and LA.

I'm going to try to explain new home city for my non-mumbaiker friends. Mumbai friends please feel free to correct any errors/ mischaracterizations in the comments.

Mumbai, an enormous island city, feels even larger b/c the traffic is so slow. The map I've enclosed below is only a fraction of the island that Mumbai is on and many suburbs are not even on the island. The map is slightly off scale, it makes South Mumbai (the part below Worli) look even bigger than it is (an inch on the enhanced image when you click is ~4 km).

A few interesting characteristics of Mumbai sociopolitical geography:

1) East vs West: You see a dotted line representting a train track, ~0.5 km east of my house. That the churchgate line. It's what divides Mumbai neighborhoods and suburbs into East vs West. Traditionally, there was definitely a "wrong" side of the tracks in Mumbai--the East side. To this day, despite growth and gentrification, East side of Mumbai has more slums and lower-income neighborhoods (east of green box)

2) South vs Not: Typically, South Mumbai is considered everything below Mahim Bay (at the top of green box); the snobbier you are, the farther south you draw the line. South was the old part of the city where the traditional business/trade wealth resided where many of the fancy hotels are. Most of the non-art oriented elite of the city still reside in the South.

3) The Suburbs: Above South Mumbai start the Suburbs, the first few, Bandra, Khar, and Juhu are the LA part of Mumbai. This is where all the Bollywood stars reside in their Mega-mansions overlooking the sea. Interestingly, since some real-estate (farther-in) is signficantly cheaper than South Mumbai, a lot of young artists and expats live here leading to a vibrant restaurant, bar, gallery, and shopping scene . Hence, it's also the Williamsburg of Mumbai!

4) The Changing Winds: Long predicted demise of South Mumbai may finally be coming. The skyhigh real-estate prices (higher than class A in midtown manhattan) and ailing infrastructure have caused a lot of businesses to move away from Nariman point to Lower Parel and even Bandra/Kurla. Even the American Embassy has moved its guest house on my street and is opening a new one in Bandra. Will South Mumbai finally become a culturally irrelevant residential neighborhood, a la Upper East Side?

Yellow Fever...the good kind!

American : Apple Pie :: Indian : Mango Lassi. India is by far the largest producer of mangoes with >40% of global production. (Below is a pic from my family's ancestral town, Guntur, famous for its Mangoes).

Alas, Mango season is very short--only Mid-March through May. As the season is fast approaching, Mango fever has taken over many of my friends in India. See some facebook comments (identities blocked out failbooking style).

Aaah, the difficult life of an Expat

Of the many things I'll miss about the US, one that I may miss the most is access to good television ( I know, I know, I should have just bought a slingbox and put it at my parent's place but they're anti-cable people, what to do??). Normally, without my DVR on the road, Hulu would do the trick; I could load up on my 30 Rock, Office etc. Now this is what I get on Hulu:

Don't ask about the things I do these days to score some good TV. It's neither pleasant nor legal. J/K... Or am I?