The Killer Serial Phenomenon

If you ever have the good fortune of observing prime-time, original programming in India, you'll likely recognize the following breakdown:

Some 50% of original programming in India is "serials." Now, calling a serial, a mere soap opera would not be fair. Granted, serials do have the traditional signs of a soap opera:

1) Incredulous plot lines with unclear character motivations
2) Unnecessarily long pauses with dramatic music and nausea inducing close-ups
3) Extremely loud monologues/private conversations conveniently overheard by others

etc. etc.

But they are all this and so much more. They are such a staple of Indian TV watching culture that they are shown in prime time (take that 'Days of Our Lives'!). Some people's entire evening schedule runs around the serials.

The shows, of course, are all very women focused. The sympathetic protagonists and unfathomably evil antagonists are all female; the male characters are an after thought. Because this is India, they also all tend to be very joint family oriented. Hence, it's no surprise the most successful soap opera of them all (and my extended family's primary vice from 2003 to 2005) was a serial called Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi (Because a Mother-in-law was once a daughter-in-law):

I am seriously starting to think that serials may be able to give my beloved telenovelas a run for their money.

Oh! Calcutta!

Going to Calcutta is a blast from India's past. From the moment you land in the dilapidated airport, you feel like you've arrived in 1950. All the taxis are old, yellow Hindustan Motors Ambassador cars and the city still has "functional" trams --not charming/touristy ones like SF(see pics below).

Calcutta is India's Philadephia--former #1 city, center of commerce and culture which is now a has-been. In order to explain the city's rapid decline/galacial stagnation I offer two exhibits:

1) West Bengal--the state for which Calcutta is the seat of govt--is run by the world's longest-running democratically elected communist government in the world. States with significant communist/marxist influence are among the poorest, least developed in the country. Granted this is bit of a catch-22, but I can't help but think that there's something to this observation.

2) Famously laid-back and philosophical mind-set of the Bengali people. In Bombay, you're asked "what do you do?" In Calcutta, you're asked, "what do you think about what you do?" The Bengali attitude of "I think, therefore I don't do" means nothing happens.


P.S. Fun fact regarding the title of this post, it's the name of a sexually charged theatre production as well as a famous Bengali restaurant in Bombay.

P.P.S Not so fun fact about Calcutta, day-trips to Cal from Bombay are grueling. For a 4 to 5-hr meeting in Cal, I have to leave my house at 5am and return at midnight (or 4:30am if the flight is delayed like this Friday).

Sailing in Bombay

In an effort to have life outside of work and going out, I've decided to cultivate some hobbies. Attempt # 1 = Sailing: a new, awesome friend of mine (she can comment on the post if she likes) offered to have me join her on a sailing class.

As you may know, the two most common smells of Bombay are raw sewage and rotten fish, both of which emanate mostly from the sea. Given this, you might wonder, why I would choose to go on a sailing in class in Bombay instead of during my time in Boston, LA, Costa Rica, Aruba, Bahamas etc. Yes, I'm a masochist.

Below pic is basically, Sri's eye view in a Mumbai sail boat:

The class itself was a lot of fun. I learned about running, reaching and beating --no, this is not a "list of things Elin did to Tiger that fateful night." They're proper sailing terms. I only got a nose-full of Mumbai water a couple of times, but it was enough to make me reconsider taking a full course of lessons. Still debating about this, what do you guys think?

The afternoon ended with tea time (well lemonade time for me) at the Royal Bombay Yacht Club, fancy-schmancy institution with reasonable joining fees.

Attempt #2= Oil Painting, let's see how that goes!

Haberdashery in Mumbai

Humid Mumbai summer is on full-swing. How do I know? As soon as I walk out of my apartment, my sun glasses fog up. Since I can't change the Mumbai weather, I figured I'd change my wardrobe: I'm going all linen from now on!

We've already discussed how everything worth having in India is twice the US price aka I can't afford Hugo Boss, Zegna, etc. in India. I decided to try the next best thing: bespoke. After extensive research, I landed on 3 very different tailors. Below is a quick review of Bombay tailoring scene/arguably gayest subject matter for a post on this blog (barring the one about Yash Birla):

1) Avinash Punjabi (on Colaba Causeway):
Pros: Located in Expat central Colaba, AP's English speaking ability and service were impeccable.
Cons: limited fabrics and a 'Friends' style inseam measuring incident

2) Sheetal (on Grand Road):
Pros: Extensive selection of styles and fabrics; Proper fitting session with in-process clothing
Cons: Less adventurous designers; shady ambience

3) Gabbana (Breach Candy):
Pros: Highest quality fabrics (incl Zegna, Canali, etc.)
Cons: Exorbitant prices; service was a little less than personal, guess I wasn't high roller enough


I recently went in for the fitting after my clothes were made all 3. Results were alright. More importantly, I've heard of more great tailors. The search for the perfect tailor is not done yet!

Tech Savvy India

For a country with GDP per capita that 1/15 that of the United States, India is shockingly far ahead of the US in some aspects of technological progress; the prime example of this cell phone penetration (fun fact: the top PE investment in Indian history was Bharti Airtel Mobile). Words can't do justice to the ubiquity of mobile phone usage in India--so I'll try with some images:

Top 3 reasons why cellphones are more awesome in India than the US:

1) Incoming calls are free: Duh, this just makes sense. Why should two people be charged for the same minutes? You don't get charged for incoming lines on landlines, so why is it that cell phone carriers get away with this?

2) Relatively good reception: I often get better reception in rural India than I do in Midtown Manhattan. Enough said.

3) Cheap rates and no contract: No, this is not a AT&T Go phone ad (which is a piss poor excuse for a pre-paid phone btw). Most plans in India are prepaid and super cheap: 1 to 2 cents a minute for domestic and 10 to 15cents for international.

Quiz with top secret prize is back, be the first one to guess which one of the above images is not a 'real' one but rather a 'promotional'?

Flying in India

Whereas most services in India are generally appallingly less efficient than their counterparts abroad, commercial air travel is one of the rare gems that is much more pleasant in India than elsewhere (despite some noise about drunk pilots). Let me give you a few examples of what US airlines can learn from Indian domestic airlines:

1) Lots of reasonably priced flights and guess what, airfares are generally predictable and don't go crazy b/c of date, time, your mom's name etc. This is in part driven by several highly competitive low-cost airlines (think Target style vs Wal-Mart style low-cost) shown below:

2) Flights are rarely delayed (one big exception is Delhi fog in winter). The one time my flight was delayed by an hour, Kingfisher Airlines (a) sent me a text so I could show up to the airport later and (b) gave me a sandwich and a bottle of water while I waited. No, I was not flying business/first.

3) Security check and boarding a flight are generally super efficient. People get on quickly and get off quickly. Maybe it's a cultural thing, no one likes waiting in India (remember all lines in India are "bar line" format). Whatever the reason, I love the results: You can show up ten minutes before your flight and still make it on!

Perennial Power Deficit

One might say, living in Mumbai is like being in a zoo as opposed to the jungle of rural India. Bombay has its beasts, but they're somewhat fenced/at bay. Venturing even to the intermediate safari zone of India--the Tier I cities, e.g. Hyderabad-- I've discovered that life is not always as easy.

For one thing, the fact that India has a major power deficit (demand outstrips supply by ~12% annually) is not obvious in Mumbai. Hyderabad, despite being a major urban center, has scheduled black-outs of 2 hours a day (different 2 hours depending on neighborhood). Below is an example of people trying to conduct normal business in the dark:

Most Indian houses (even in Bombay) have candles/flash lights lying around just for a situations like this. The power in one aunt's neighborhood goes out from 1 to 3PM. "How about I supposed to sleep in the afternoon? This is inhumane," complains said aunt. I agree, subjecting our family to my aunt sans siesta is inhumane! Grow up India, start cutting some red-tape for power generation and distribution.

Riots are overrated

Despite warnings from many regarding the dangers of visiting Hyderabad during the riots--"4-day shutdown/curfew of a major Indian city has never happened before"; "Even Al Jazeera is concerned"; "You are insane"; "You're an idiot"; "Make sure you send a copy of all your models and documents before you leave" etc-- I went to Hyderabad for the long weekend. Lo and behold, I have returned to Bombay in one piece.

I attribute my safe return to these two people:

The Hyderabadi Muslim community has been distracted by this couple's saga which is

* Part Bollywood style drama:
Pakistani Cricket Captain Shoaib Malik to wed Indian Tennis Sensation Sania Mirza of Hyderabad. He's Pakistani and she's Indian? They're both celebrities? What, what, what?

* Part Hollywood style scandal:
He's already married to a girl from another prominent Muslim family of Hyderabad. What, what, what, what?

All nine 24/7 Telugu News channels (yes, there are 9 of them) and every major Telugu, English, Hindi and Urdu paper of the city have been covering this story non-stop. All the Qazis from the tony hills to the decrepit old city are weighing in.

Hello? One scandal and they've already forgotten that they're supposed to be rioting for a United Andhra Pradesh/Nationally Administered Hyderabad so that they can retain their significant political influence? Well, guess, I can't complain.