Spirit of Mumbai

On July 13, at 6:30PM, three bombs went off in Mumbai--including one within earshot of my house.

A sad but true component of the Mumbai experience is being in the city during a terrorist attack. Since the 1993, there have been 8 attacks in the city with the most gruesome one being the 26/11 attacks in South Bombay in '08.

• Our entire office was on lock-down as we tried to ascertain when it'd be safe to leave
• Rumors of 4 more bombs swirled
• Cell phones were jammed for hours
• Co-workers traded war stories of where they were during the last attacks (26/11)

Everyone seemed to know what to do--life forged ahead that night and the day after. The indomitable Spirit of Mumbai.

The sadder underbelly of this story as observed by the New Yorker--something many are too timid to say--The Mumbai Spirit is really Epic Apathy. Part of the "chalta hai" attitude of India.

Another attack, another score dead, the same empty verbalization from politicians. Life goes on. Is real change possible? I sure hope so, only wish I knew how.

What India Needs (Part I of New Series): Oprah

Before y'all start whining about what India needs is lower corruption, less pollution, better food security, better law enforcement, wah wah wah--lemme drop some wisdom on you: this is an extremely serious blog, so I'll only focus on vital issues, e.g. lack of below-pictured talk-show hosts.




The Case for Oprah--an Open Letter to Her Holiness, Oprah Winfrey

(1) Unmet Need
Indian TV = soap operas + rags-to-riches reality competitions; so the primary TV watching demographic is housewives and the unemployed. No talk-show guru is dishing for the bored masses right now

(2) Oh, Le Scandal
For our love of tawdry scandals, check out any Mid-Day headline (From today: Puneites open to idea of their own 'SlutWalk', Husband murders wife over alleged affair, TV actors in a drunken ruckus)

(3) "New Age" BS
In the birthplace of yoga and ayurveda, we don't trust all this fast curing "Western" medicine--f*ck penicillin, get me some turmeric powder.

(4) Free Sh*t
"Buy one, get um...something free" is the Unilever motto in India. We love getting something for nothing. And Oprah, we could use some free cars in the monsoon.


So, Oprah, now that you're retired in the US. India needs you and guess what, it makes good business sense too.

Why I'm raising a child

A fundamental responsibility of a parent is to raise children to be productive, responsible future global citizens.

Interactions with my personal trainer (who is kick-ass and awesome in every way) often make me feel like a parent, some choice examples:

(1) I teach him how to speak (English)
-To be fair, he's was always terribly good at nodding and smiling at all the right places

(2) I buy him apparel
- Got him new shoes from LA so he could work out better

(3) I teach him how to behave (this one merits a story)


{ Context: We're chit-chatting during our session and watching Game 5 of NBA finals }

Me: You know these ball-players get a lot of action*
Trainer: Really? {Looks surprised}
Me: Yeah dude, they're famous, rich athletes.
Trainer: Even the black ones?
Me: Errm yes, of course {Cringe Threat Level Yellow}
Trainer: They get white chicks?
Me: Uhhh, yes {Cringe Threat Level Orange}
Trainer: But they're so ugly**
Me: {Cringe Threat Level Mega, Crimson Red}
: Uhhhhhh
: Rahul***, you just can't say stuff like that



* Okay, at this point, please ignore the child analogy, lest it get creepier
** Actual, colorful description used has been modified to protect innocent ears
*** Name changed to protect the not-so-innocent perpetrator

Bombay Bucketlist

My philosophy on the sights of a city: Live like a resident, Leave like a tourist. For example, I lived in Paris for 3 months, but went to Eiffel tour only in the last week.

Thus far, after almost 2 years in Bombay, I've done nothing that I'm "supposed" to do here. Well, I am also not 100% sure what I'm supposed to have done. Inspired by another friend, I'm starting a Bombay Bucketlist--things I need to see/do before I leave Bombay.



(1) Haji Ali Mosque at Sun set
-- Bonus pts: Drinking juice at the Haji Ali Juice Center

(2) Mahalaxmi Temple
-- Bonus pts: Shaving my head at the temple

(3) Bollywood set
--Bonus pts: Catch a famous actress dancing for a song number

(4) Trip on a Local train
--Bonus pts: Go on the cheapest ticket
--Double Bonus pts: Go during rush hour

(5) Dhobi Ghat
--Bonus pts: Persuade one of the dhobis to let you watch some clothes (poidh)


That's what I've got so far. Please help me round out the list or add more bonus points with comments/emails. Thank you!

4 Types of Passengers on a Transcontinental Flight from India

As my repat/expat journey is coming to a long hiatus (at least 2 years) in about 2 months, wanted to revive the blog for some final, hopefully amusing observations.

Below is obviously a gross generalization but it effectively summarizes every flight I've taken from India to Europe/US.



(1) Hippie Tourist

• Key Markers: T-shirt, poor hair hygiene, lonely planet guide
  
• Preferred Language: Finnish, Croatian, Romanian--the more esoterically European, the better
  
• Final Destination: Finland, Croatia, Romania--to plan the next 'adventure'

(2) Indian Family

• Key Markers: Backpacks, loud children, food in tupperware
• Preferred Language: Indian English with a touch of Hindi
• Final Destination: New Jersey

(3) Traveler with Sketchy Visa

• Key Markers: Leather jacket, coconut oil in hair
  
• Preferred Language: Gujarati
• Final Destination: Queens/Southall/Chicago to "study"

(4) Business Traveler

• Key Markers: Blackberry, iphone, ipad, business class boarding pass, cuff-links
  
• Preferred Language: "Why are you talking to me?"
• Final Destination: New York/London/Frankfurt

The Holy War aka Ind-Pak World Cup Match

After a long hiatus, I return to blogging to talk about a monumental event about to take place today.

A modern Indian saying goes, "Cricket is my religion. Sachin is my god." Extending the analogy, the World Cup is the holy grail. And today is the seminal crusade to overcome the infidels. It's the World Cup India-Pakistan Semi-Final.

This is the first time the world's largest cricket country and the world's evilest cricket country (kidding! sort of) are duking it out at the World Cup in 15 years.

The sheer magnitude of the event is hard to capture in words. But will try with some choice examples:

1) Indian government: "Alrighty y'all, today's an official bank holiday so all y'all can watch the big game"
2) Cab driver: "Why are you going to the office today? Don't you know that there's an India-Pakistan match?"
3) TV: At the gym, every single screen at the gym on different channel with "pre-match" coverage starting at 8am for a match at 2:30pm


After # 2, lest you all worry, I will be watching the epic match. Will leave with an oft-repeated by entirely-appropriate cliche: Jai Ho India!

The Culinary Canary

Generally, my posts follow the format of an experience followed by some hilarious or not-so-hilarious observations. Today, I'm going a different route. First of a new series, I'm going to use the blog to to introduce new concepts. Today's concept is the "Culinary Canary."



Three points of context:

1) As some of you may know, I like to style myself a foodie. (whether I fit the mold or not, you be the judge). Food is always on my mind. I have standards for what goes into my stomach but at the same, am relatively adventurous when it comes to cuisine (see this post).

2) On the subject of food in India, we all know the less pleasant concept of Delhi Belly. Whenever, new people move to Bombay. A group of unmentioned friends and I take bets on how long before they get Delhi Belly. The most recent import in our social circle, lasted 16 days--not bad!

3) Given this high beta and risk associated with quality food, many expats and repats in Bombay are averse try restaurants that cost less than $40 a person.

Definition:
Culinary Canary: a foodie in a group of expatriates who functions as the initial tester of quality food at questionable local restaurants. If aforementioned person survives without incident (e.g. food poisoning, stomach flu), then the rest of the group proceeds to attend the restaurant the following week/month. See also canary in a coal mine.

Guess who the culinary canary of my group of friends is?