What India Needs (Part I of New Series): Oprah

Before y'all start whining about what India needs is lower corruption, less pollution, better food security, better law enforcement, wah wah wah--lemme drop some wisdom on you: this is an extremely serious blog, so I'll only focus on vital issues, e.g. lack of below-pictured talk-show hosts.




The Case for Oprah--an Open Letter to Her Holiness, Oprah Winfrey

(1) Unmet Need
Indian TV = soap operas + rags-to-riches reality competitions; so the primary TV watching demographic is housewives and the unemployed. No talk-show guru is dishing for the bored masses right now

(2) Oh, Le Scandal
For our love of tawdry scandals, check out any Mid-Day headline (From today: Puneites open to idea of their own 'SlutWalk', Husband murders wife over alleged affair, TV actors in a drunken ruckus)

(3) "New Age" BS
In the birthplace of yoga and ayurveda, we don't trust all this fast curing "Western" medicine--f*ck penicillin, get me some turmeric powder.

(4) Free Sh*t
"Buy one, get um...something free" is the Unilever motto in India. We love getting something for nothing. And Oprah, we could use some free cars in the monsoon.


So, Oprah, now that you're retired in the US. India needs you and guess what, it makes good business sense too.