Why I'm raising a child

A fundamental responsibility of a parent is to raise children to be productive, responsible future global citizens.

Interactions with my personal trainer (who is kick-ass and awesome in every way) often make me feel like a parent, some choice examples:

(1) I teach him how to speak (English)
-To be fair, he's was always terribly good at nodding and smiling at all the right places

(2) I buy him apparel
- Got him new shoes from LA so he could work out better

(3) I teach him how to behave (this one merits a story)


{ Context: We're chit-chatting during our session and watching Game 5 of NBA finals }

Me: You know these ball-players get a lot of action*
Trainer: Really? {Looks surprised}
Me: Yeah dude, they're famous, rich athletes.
Trainer: Even the black ones?
Me: Errm yes, of course {Cringe Threat Level Yellow}
Trainer: They get white chicks?
Me: Uhhh, yes {Cringe Threat Level Orange}
Trainer: But they're so ugly**
Me: {Cringe Threat Level Mega, Crimson Red}
: Uhhhhhh
: Rahul***, you just can't say stuff like that



* Okay, at this point, please ignore the child analogy, lest it get creepier
** Actual, colorful description used has been modified to protect innocent ears
*** Name changed to protect the not-so-innocent perpetrator