Why I'm raising a child

A fundamental responsibility of a parent is to raise children to be productive, responsible future global citizens.

Interactions with my personal trainer (who is kick-ass and awesome in every way) often make me feel like a parent, some choice examples:

(1) I teach him how to speak (English)
-To be fair, he's was always terribly good at nodding and smiling at all the right places

(2) I buy him apparel
- Got him new shoes from LA so he could work out better

(3) I teach him how to behave (this one merits a story)


{ Context: We're chit-chatting during our session and watching Game 5 of NBA finals }

Me: You know these ball-players get a lot of action*
Trainer: Really? {Looks surprised}
Me: Yeah dude, they're famous, rich athletes.
Trainer: Even the black ones?
Me: Errm yes, of course {Cringe Threat Level Yellow}
Trainer: They get white chicks?
Me: Uhhh, yes {Cringe Threat Level Orange}
Trainer: But they're so ugly**
Me: {Cringe Threat Level Mega, Crimson Red}
: Uhhhhhh
: Rahul***, you just can't say stuff like that



* Okay, at this point, please ignore the child analogy, lest it get creepier
** Actual, colorful description used has been modified to protect innocent ears
*** Name changed to protect the not-so-innocent perpetrator

Bombay Bucketlist

My philosophy on the sights of a city: Live like a resident, Leave like a tourist. For example, I lived in Paris for 3 months, but went to Eiffel tour only in the last week.

Thus far, after almost 2 years in Bombay, I've done nothing that I'm "supposed" to do here. Well, I am also not 100% sure what I'm supposed to have done. Inspired by another friend, I'm starting a Bombay Bucketlist--things I need to see/do before I leave Bombay.



(1) Haji Ali Mosque at Sun set
-- Bonus pts: Drinking juice at the Haji Ali Juice Center

(2) Mahalaxmi Temple
-- Bonus pts: Shaving my head at the temple

(3) Bollywood set
--Bonus pts: Catch a famous actress dancing for a song number

(4) Trip on a Local train
--Bonus pts: Go on the cheapest ticket
--Double Bonus pts: Go during rush hour

(5) Dhobi Ghat
--Bonus pts: Persuade one of the dhobis to let you watch some clothes (poidh)


That's what I've got so far. Please help me round out the list or add more bonus points with comments/emails. Thank you!

4 Types of Passengers on a Transcontinental Flight from India

As my repat/expat journey is coming to a long hiatus (at least 2 years) in about 2 months, wanted to revive the blog for some final, hopefully amusing observations.

Below is obviously a gross generalization but it effectively summarizes every flight I've taken from India to Europe/US.



(1) Hippie Tourist

• Key Markers: T-shirt, poor hair hygiene, lonely planet guide
  
• Preferred Language: Finnish, Croatian, Romanian--the more esoterically European, the better
  
• Final Destination: Finland, Croatia, Romania--to plan the next 'adventure'

(2) Indian Family

• Key Markers: Backpacks, loud children, food in tupperware
• Preferred Language: Indian English with a touch of Hindi
• Final Destination: New Jersey

(3) Traveler with Sketchy Visa

• Key Markers: Leather jacket, coconut oil in hair
  
• Preferred Language: Gujarati
• Final Destination: Queens/Southall/Chicago to "study"

(4) Business Traveler

• Key Markers: Blackberry, iphone, ipad, business class boarding pass, cuff-links
  
• Preferred Language: "Why are you talking to me?"
• Final Destination: New York/London/Frankfurt

The Holy War aka Ind-Pak World Cup Match

After a long hiatus, I return to blogging to talk about a monumental event about to take place today.

A modern Indian saying goes, "Cricket is my religion. Sachin is my god." Extending the analogy, the World Cup is the holy grail. And today is the seminal crusade to overcome the infidels. It's the World Cup India-Pakistan Semi-Final.

This is the first time the world's largest cricket country and the world's evilest cricket country (kidding! sort of) are duking it out at the World Cup in 15 years.

The sheer magnitude of the event is hard to capture in words. But will try with some choice examples:

1) Indian government: "Alrighty y'all, today's an official bank holiday so all y'all can watch the big game"
2) Cab driver: "Why are you going to the office today? Don't you know that there's an India-Pakistan match?"
3) TV: At the gym, every single screen at the gym on different channel with "pre-match" coverage starting at 8am for a match at 2:30pm


After # 2, lest you all worry, I will be watching the epic match. Will leave with an oft-repeated by entirely-appropriate cliche: Jai Ho India!

The Culinary Canary

Generally, my posts follow the format of an experience followed by some hilarious or not-so-hilarious observations. Today, I'm going a different route. First of a new series, I'm going to use the blog to to introduce new concepts. Today's concept is the "Culinary Canary."



Three points of context:

1) As some of you may know, I like to style myself a foodie. (whether I fit the mold or not, you be the judge). Food is always on my mind. I have standards for what goes into my stomach but at the same, am relatively adventurous when it comes to cuisine (see this post).

2) On the subject of food in India, we all know the less pleasant concept of Delhi Belly. Whenever, new people move to Bombay. A group of unmentioned friends and I take bets on how long before they get Delhi Belly. The most recent import in our social circle, lasted 16 days--not bad!

3) Given this high beta and risk associated with quality food, many expats and repats in Bombay are averse try restaurants that cost less than $40 a person.

Definition:
Culinary Canary: a foodie in a group of expatriates who functions as the initial tester of quality food at questionable local restaurants. If aforementioned person survives without incident (e.g. food poisoning, stomach flu), then the rest of the group proceeds to attend the restaurant the following week/month. See also canary in a coal mine.

Guess who the culinary canary of my group of friends is?

Gymming in Bombay

I have finally joined a gym in Bombay. Yes, this is longest since high school that I haven't had access to a proper gym.

I'm now a member of Gold's Gym on Napean Sea Rd--despite it's name and dubious international pedigree is apparently one of the nicest gyms in all of Mumbai. And no, despite the hype, it's no Equinox on Park Ave.

Expectedly, gymming in India (a country with a complicated fitness relationship) has brought with it some pleasant/unpleasant surprises. Here they go:

1) My gym has a DJ.

Let's let that one sink in for a second. Ok, now. India has always had a strong relationship with music and dancing (see any bollywood movie). We are a loud and proud country. The Gym DJ is good but the beats he mixes are so raucous, no iPod has any chance of triumph.

2) Lots of helpful signs


At first, I thought, is that sign really necessary? Then I walked to the stretching area. Yes, it's most definitely necessary.

3) People who walk on treadmills

Especially when I'm at the gym in the evening, 90% of the treadmills are being by used by people who are walking on them 100% of the time. I don't get it. Have these people forgotten the fact that it is actually possible for human beings to walk outside--not particularly stressful or dangerous as compared to running outside I have been told.


Anyway, let's see how this MWF 8am training routine is going to go. Wish me luck!

White Christmas in India

This (now past) year, I got to experience a truly white Christmas in India (to be fair, I fled India during the season in 2009). Clearly, I'm not talking about the snow. December/Jan is wedding season in India! Actually, though I'm not talking about the resplendent brides in white dresses/saris (see example below).


I'm talking about the overwhelming number of foreigners (mostly white) that visit India during this season. The reasons to visit are 4-fold:

1) Aforementioned wedding season
2) Weather in most of India is ideal in Dec/Jan
3) Vacation time in US/Europe
4) "Exotic" Emerging Markets Business School/College Trips


So, thank you for all the friends that visited me this season. Hope you had a great time in India. Enjoyed hanging out with all of you!