Gymming in Bombay

I have finally joined a gym in Bombay. Yes, this is longest since high school that I haven't had access to a proper gym.

I'm now a member of Gold's Gym on Napean Sea Rd--despite it's name and dubious international pedigree is apparently one of the nicest gyms in all of Mumbai. And no, despite the hype, it's no Equinox on Park Ave.

Expectedly, gymming in India (a country with a complicated fitness relationship) has brought with it some pleasant/unpleasant surprises. Here they go:

1) My gym has a DJ.

Let's let that one sink in for a second. Ok, now. India has always had a strong relationship with music and dancing (see any bollywood movie). We are a loud and proud country. The Gym DJ is good but the beats he mixes are so raucous, no iPod has any chance of triumph.

2) Lots of helpful signs


At first, I thought, is that sign really necessary? Then I walked to the stretching area. Yes, it's most definitely necessary.

3) People who walk on treadmills

Especially when I'm at the gym in the evening, 90% of the treadmills are being by used by people who are walking on them 100% of the time. I don't get it. Have these people forgotten the fact that it is actually possible for human beings to walk outside--not particularly stressful or dangerous as compared to running outside I have been told.


Anyway, let's see how this MWF 8am training routine is going to go. Wish me luck!

White Christmas in India

This (now past) year, I got to experience a truly white Christmas in India (to be fair, I fled India during the season in 2009). Clearly, I'm not talking about the snow. December/Jan is wedding season in India! Actually, though I'm not talking about the resplendent brides in white dresses/saris (see example below).


I'm talking about the overwhelming number of foreigners (mostly white) that visit India during this season. The reasons to visit are 4-fold:

1) Aforementioned wedding season
2) Weather in most of India is ideal in Dec/Jan
3) Vacation time in US/Europe
4) "Exotic" Emerging Markets Business School/College Trips


So, thank you for all the friends that visited me this season. Hope you had a great time in India. Enjoyed hanging out with all of you!

The Indian Head Bob

Ok, I've decided to come out of blogging retirement to address a dire, rapidly growing problem...

I have recently had a few friends visit who have picked up that I've become 'very' Indian -- speaking in Belhi English and using Indian inflection/intonation. Most importantly, they claimed I have picked up the Indian bob (the head movement, not the hair cut).

The Indian bob has been getting a lot of air time lately, Conan's Amex commercial, the Indians in 90 Seconds video (below), and NBC's ill-conceived sitcom 'Outsourced' which I had the recent misfortune of watching.

If 1 billion people used the exact same expression for 'Yes' and 'No,' I doubt the country could function. So clearly, the 'Yes' bob and the 'No' bob are different. Here's an idiot's guide on how to spot it:


1) Watch the Face: 'No' bob expected has a strong negative expression (e.g. squinted brow)

2) Watch the Speed: 'No' bob is the 'Yes' bob's must faster, jittery, ADHD brother

3) Don't forget the context: Did you ask question that should definitely be answered with a 'Yes'? Or 'No'? If so, why did you ask this question? You're gonna get punished with a wrong/ambiguous answer. You deserve it though.

Blogsistential Crisis : Good Bye Repat Journey, Hello New Home

When does a journey become a commute? It's been over a year since I moved to Mumbai. Things continue to strike me here and yet there's an odd feeling of comfort and home. Despite the constant travel and stimulating experiences, life now has a routine.

Simultaneously, I have fallen into crisis over the purpose of this blog. A hundred posts about my life is plenty. Even for me, this sort of narcissism is becoming too bothersome to maintain. Henceforth, I am suspending my blogging campaign after this post.

A quick recap of the blog pre-crisis:

I might consider resuming intermittently if some strikes my fancy. In the meantime, feel free to check out some of other favorite recollections of expat experiences in Mumbai:

* My friend AR's wonderful, richly narrative blog called 'Bagels and Lakhs' about her life after to India from New York and founding a non-profit here
* Another friend, Thane Richard's equally circumspect blog called 'Indians and Cowboys'
* And just for fun, twitter feed I ran across recently called 'Bombay Expat Says Wha.' It's not very active yet, but I'm hoping the writers will find more good material soon.


Thanks for taking the time to read over this past year. I have really appreciated sharing this experience with you all.

Obama Jhama

Jhama, a Hindi word roughly translated as hullabaloo, accurately describes the current state of the Mumbai municipal and security authorities on the eve of President Obama's visit to India.

Obama is renting out the entire Taj Mahal hotel and attending meetings at NCPA and the Oberoi (see schedule). As you might remember, the Taj and Oberoi were two major sites of the gruesome terrorist attacks on Nov 26, 2008. Hence, the city is under extra lockdown during the visit, some measures include -

* The low seas around South Mumbai guarded by US naval ships
* All foreigners residing in hotels in South Bombay interviewed and documented
* Road closures, suspension of liquor permits and general prevention of crowds over the weekend
* Obama's traveling in 'Cadillac One' --an armored, missile proof car

Granted, needing my Indian city to be guarded by American battleships is a little embarrassing. But I think it would be infinitely more embarrassing if something were to happen to during Obama's visit that would make the CWG preparations look like a grand success.

What are people saying?
The visit has drawn mix feelings from the civilian population. For example, the Taj junior staff has been from the hotel for the visit. Some staff are disappointed they are not able to serve the US president, while others are ecstatic about a rare 4-day vacation coinciding with Diwali (India's closest equivalent to Christmas).

How do I feel about it?
As a good American citizen, I should attend panels/public events involving the President, but as an experienced former Indian citizen, I'm fleeing the city in anticipation of the crippling seizure to the city to be dealt by the visit. Watch for a "Goa Redux" post!

Boy Who Cried Tiger!

India, home to ~3,700 tigers in the 1990s, now has only ~1,400. Hence, the Save the Tiger campaign, helped by facebook and twitter has gained signifcant traction in recent times. I figured before I do something more than pressing the 'like' button, I should at least check out the beast in its natural Indian habitat.

Where to go to see a tiger? The full list of tiger sanctuaries in India can help you narrow down to the locations that are best maintained with the highest tiger density. We didn't do that. We just went to the most famous sounding park. Off to Ranthambore!

After a flight to Jaipur and 4 hour car ride from there, we arrive at our "mid-end" hotel. In an area where the nice hotels go for >$800 a night, you can only imagine what our mid-end resort cost.

All that money and effort later, we would have surely seen some tigers, right? Wrong.

After 3 safaris, I gave up and went to the spa at our resort--which incidentally had gorgeous rooms, and delicious, organic, vegetarian, locavore cuisine.

The more interesting story was of my travel partners who persisted and went on a 4th safari. Every single jeep on their route that morning saw a tiger except theirs. Guess, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

I should have known that given the celebrity profile of our destination, we had a better shot at spotting below Tiger.

Weekend of Culture in Bombay

Something's dramatically changed with Bombay. Or maybe it's just the monsoon ending. Whereas I typically bemoan the lack of alternative activities in Bombay, this weekend was jam-packed with them. Some quick highlights:

1) Washoku Japanese Food Festival
* Bombay's prestigious Institute of Hotel Management's 4th annual Japanese food festival gets an 'A' for effort but a 'F' for execution.
* In the immortal words of one of my friends, "they even screwed up potato tempura. This requires extraordinary talent."



2) MAMI: Mumbai Film Festival
* 12th annual festival had some fantastic movies on the list from Colombia, Belgium, China, Japan, Italy, Canada etc.
* The event was so poorly managed--the first night's screening led to a stampeded with some severe injuries
* We couldn't even get ourselves registered despite traveling 1.5 hrs for it



3) The Art Conspiracy Music Festival

* Alternative and electic musicians performed at various restaurant venues in Bandra.
* Finale was a thoroughly entertaining dance performance with capoiera, swing, asian break dancing as well as some vaudeville thrown-in.




Oh well, 1 out of 3 ain't bad! And the Mami is on-going so maybe worth another shot.